FEATURES
JANUARY 2024 FEATURES
Her breath is ragged, rivulets of tears and blood sheening her cheeks.
“Open this fucking door, El!”
She can’t control her breath, unable to look at him, unable to move.
A line of black-and-white LED text scrolls across Ringo’s screen: “Where would you like to go?”
Her voice trembles, no more than a whisper escaping her lips, “Anywhere.”
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Early in spring Yama-uba fell sick with a fever. One morning, after a terrible night in which she thought she might die, she woke to hear the crying of a child. Startled, she sat up, looking around with alarm. If she died of her illness, she reflected, he would not long survive her. No, the boy needed to get home.
I’m not sure who came up with the saying, “selling like hotcakes,” but I bet even if I opened a restaurant that made the best hotcakes the world has ever tasted, they still wouldn’t “sell like hotcakes.” Maybe we could update the expression to something more accurate, like “selling like marijuana edibles.”
I finally get to be a Santa Elf. After a week of assignments ranging from Welcome Elf to Train Elf to Crossroads Elf, I get to be in the actual house with the big, red-suited man himself! I am told by all the other elves that this is where the magic happens. But, what I’m about to tell you is going probably get me in trouble with the Secret Society of Santassassins.”
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Video collage by Jonny DeStefano | Featured artists: Peter Kornowski • Ryane Rose • Ray Young Chu • Jack Estenssoro • Mark Mothersbaugh • Jorge Mascarenhas • Derek Knierim • Jash Tracey • Jason White